I don't know what I'm training for, but I hope it never happens

I honestly don't know what I did all those years without cable. No CSI, no Warrick Brown. No Olympics, no Brian Williams. No Secret Life of a Call Girl, no...well no classy entertainment. And worst of all, no commercials.

Last week I found the advertisement of a lifetime, the new Old Spice campaign with my newest celebrity crush, Isaiah Mustafa. I suggest watching the amazingly hilarious commercial, man.
My mancrush totally and completely sold me on man-scented bodywash, even though I am neither a man, nor do I have one to use this bodywash on. Doesn't matter. All I know is that he has two tickets to that thing I love.

This evening's television viewing uncovered the El Dorado and other rich and vast ancient treasures of exercise machines. 3-Minute Legs and the Shake Weight. Rather than point you to just the ads themselves, I will give you Ellen, who keenly demonstrates the results you will reap with these fun, easy, fun, fast, fun, fat-burning, inch-scouring, and yes fun machines, designed for who else? Women. Because remember, we should all smell like butterflies, and salt taffy. If the Shake Weight can't do that, I don't know what can.

**Edit: I posted the original 3-Minute Legs workout on my friend Jason's wall. He is a certified personal trainer and works in the health and wellness industry. He had the following to say:

Jason N
My favorite quotes:

"until now [squat and lunges] were too hard; too difficult"
-I shouldn't even start. It probably won't be facebook appropriate

"It's a 3 minute miracle!"
-speechless

"It holds up to 275lbs"
-I can squat that

"Ordinary lunges can hurt your knees if you lose your balance"
-You can get injured anywhere if you lose balance

"Regular squats can be BRUTAL on your back"
-Yes......that must be why proper lifting techniques require a squat

"It has a depth control cable that prevents you from going too low"
-The population in China hasn't been injured from going to the bathroom yet

Thanks for the professional opinion Jason. And viewers, stay tuned.